What Would Melanie Do?

                                                            

I am a big fan of the film “Gone With the Wind.” I went to see it at the Michigan Theater on my 14th birthday. My favorite character was the sweet, but strong Melanie Hamilton. She exuded a calm demeanor but kept all the other characters on the right track. She could even calm down the fiery Scarlett O'Hara and served as a role model for all. Olivia de Havilland recently passed away at 104 years old. She won an Academy Award twice for Best Actress. I was talking about Olivia’s career with a friend this morning. We both felt that Olivia was someone to emulate in our daily lives. 

My mom was a mixture of the best character traits from both Melanie and her sister in law Scarlett. My mom was gracious and polite to everyone up to her final days. My mom kept asking, “Am I doing everything the right way?” She signed birthday cards for relatives and mailed them in her last month on earth. She called her friends around the country and bid them farewell. How kind is that? 

Every summer she took my sister and I shopping to buy a new dress. Last summer she suggested we go to a new store closeby. She walked in with her cane and the clerks greeted her by name. They told me that my mom comes in often to shop and is gracious to everyone. My mom sat in a chair and nodded her head yes or no as we modeled our possible dresses. It reminded me of my wedding dress shopping trip to Jacobson’s many years ago. My mom sat in a chair outside the dressing room waiting calmly. I put on the first dress and she nodded her head 'yes' immediately. I tried on the rest of them but got the 'no' head shake. My perfect wedding dress has been stored in my mom’s guest room closet for the past 44 years. I have moved around the world and left it safely at her house. I just donated my dress to charity for someone else to enjoy it.

I felt my mom’s approval for our new house even though she had passed away. She would have liked the house design, colors, and location. I know she is watching over me still. Her picture is hanging on our family room wall in a collage of relatives who are now gone from this earth. My in-laws smile at us from their high school photos on the wall. They are together at last after 68 years of marriage. My sister in law Kathy looks so healthy in her photos last summer. However, her life ended suddenly from cancer after these photos were taken. Too young and too soon. I could look at the family photos this morning without crying, but not last night. I try to keep the memory of my relatives alive in small ways daily.

As we drove from Michigan to our new home out west, tears clouded my eyes as I looked at the beautiful scenery from our car window. We have to honor our relatives with kind actions toward others. My sister in law asked us to stop on the drive to visit her college boyfriend’s grave in Iowa. We knew him as a university artist with a shy grin and kind manner. We drove and walked around the cemetery searching for his name on a gravestone on a hill outside of his hometown. We finally found his grave next to his parents and tears filled my eyes. Another friend who passed away too soon. We really have to live each day and do our best to help others enjoy it too. 

It was a smooth, easy cross country drive. The highway was empty and filled with trucks during the pandemic. We put on our face masks at the gas stations and little diners along the way. No one was wearing masks in Iowa and the customers gave us dirty looks when we walked into the restaurant with masks on. The waitress even seemed afraid of us. Strange times continued as we crossed the border into Nebraska.  We drove through fields of corn that needed more rain and watched the cloud formations overhead. In this state, everyone had masks on because the governor made it a law. 

We stopped for breakfast in Denver at a former colleague’s house. We sat on the back patio socially distancing and catching up on international school news. It was the highlight of our drive to relax in the backyard with my former principal from Thailand. We discussed the changes in the world around us and hoped for a better future. Then we made reservations to visit a favorite hot springs hotel in the Rocky Mountains. We were looking forward to relaxing in the beautiful scenery like old times in college. Even the best-laid plans are open to change. As we drove up to the hot springs, it was social distancing at its worst. There were crowds of people waiting on the lawn to get into the fenced-in pool. There didn’t seem to be any line and no one had a mask on. It was even worse at our hotel across the street. Our room was still dirty, the maids were missing, and it was very hot. We quickly canceled our reservation and drove away into the cool mountains. The drive was full of winding roads with beautiful scenery. We took off our masks and opened the windows for fresh air. It is a strange world out there and we will do our best to keep safe and happy. I think of Olivia with her calm, sweet demeanor. There was never a need for her to raise her voice. She helped others and remains an icon for us all. I will continue to meet daily drama with the question, “What would Melanie do?” I think we all know the answer to that question. We will do our best today.