Timely Timeshare

 

    I will never attend a Timeshare sales presentation again. Repeat, I will never attend a Timeshare sales presentation again. I didn’t expect to enjoy this event but thought it might be tolerable with the reward of a BBQ restaurant lunch coupon. The process began with a harmless spin on a roulette wheel at the Las Vegas Renaissance Fair. Beware! We didn’t win a prize, but my husband and I were invited to a timeshare presentation instead. This quick session was held at a fancy Las Vegas Hotel on the Strip with a free lunch afterward. Well, let’s just say that nothing is free or quick in Vegas.

We showed up early at the fancy Jockey Club on Las Vegas Boulevard. We were seated in a Roman-style waiting room with white pillars and marble floors. Our own special sales representative in a Hawaiian shirt was an expert at small talk and offered us a bottle of water. Then he personally escorted us into the conference room and sat beside us so we couldn't leave. There were around 20 other couples with their bald salesmen beside them. The presenter was an Elvis lookalike in a white sequin coat that looked like it was as old as Elvis. After his initial hard sales pitch with a flashy travel slide show, I decided that his shiny teeth were false. The presentation was full of upbeat music, clapping, and bad jokes. Condo sales numbers quickly flashed across the screen before there was time to figure them out. Their video showed glowing reviews from customers and personal stories from their employees. They promised family fun at Disneyworld and romantic escapes in Hawaii. Our friendly personal guide screened us beforehand and requested our driver's licenses to obtain our credit scores I’m sure. During the fancy travel presentation, our guide nodded and smiled during the flashy photos and figures (money I mean). It sounded like a travel dream come true. 

        We barely escaped with a free lunch coupon. The restaurant was hard to find in the Strip maze. The meal was a tiny portion of dried meat served with a wilted side salad. Our free Vegas Strip parking ended up costing us $18 because we weren’t in their designated lot. Our old Elvis salesman was entertaining until the hard sell afterward. The slide show promised us four-star resorts around the world to share with our family and friends for life. Afterward, we were quickly escorted to a conference room with our personal bodyguard. to small tables. There were no exit doors. I started to hyperventilate. Our guard pulled out his gold pen and started to scribble numbers as he explained the funds we needed to buy the timeshare. I was totally confused by his math calculations. Meanwhile, my husband who is a Math Major was busy googling the company reviews on his phone. They were terrible. Not a surprise. Phones had not been allowed during the sales presentation for good reason. Their Better Business Reviews were horrible. I was fuming behind my tight smile and just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible with my purse. Our frustrated salesman abruptly stopped his spiel and left abruptly. He was quickly replaced by an older woman for our second round of hard sales. She promised us the world, but couldn’t really answer our pointed money questions. We pointed to the poor reviews of their company on the phone. She grimaced, stood up, and left our table. She returned slowly to our table with a scowl on her face. She had our promised coupons for lunch and hotel discounts. I didn’t really feel guilty but felt very sorry for any of the other customers who signed the contract for this devious scheme. If this business was legitimate, they would have let us go home and study their material before making a big decision. We were lucky to leave with our wallets intact while others are stuck paying a monthly fee for the rest of their lives. When I got home, I called to make our gift hotel reservation using their coupon. Surprise, there were no hotel dates available this month. My friend told me that her friend’s late father bought this same Timeshare. The company wouldn’t even let her stay at this same Vegas hotel and rudely denied her a Timeshare refund. She is stuck paying the yearly dues for the rest of her life. Timeshares should be taken with a dose of aspirin and a big bottle of wine. I learned that if I want to take a trip, I will make the reservations myself!